Q&A with David Biggs

Q: How did you get involved with Renew in the first place? Are you from L.A.? What's your backstory?

David: So, backstory? I'm from the Inland Empire Area: Moreno Valley, California. I've lived in L.A. for definitely 10+ years. I'd just left a church I'd gone to and actually just recommitted my life to follow Jesus.

I grew up in the church. My father and my mother served in it. And so me and my sisters, we all kind of grew up in a church or just always were in the church environment. Towards the end of high school, our family started hitting really hard times. My dad had battles with drugs a lot and started struggling going in and out of jail. I mean, he was a great dad. He was at all my football games. He was a chemist, so he would help me stay up all night for math and science, and he was a really great guy.

But he just had a battle with [drugs] in the past, and when he ended up losing his job, it kind of hit him in a really bad spiral. Drugs were on his record and it became really hard for him to find a job. He started really backsliding. I think it kind of felt like a culture shift for our family where we all really weren't going to church. Maybe just my mom at that point.

In college I was a part of a Christian group, and it really kind of helped me re-adjust a bit. When I came back from college, [his change] was definitely evident. Now he was definitely using a lot harder and that caused a massive friction between me and him. He was pretty abusive, verbally and physically, with my mom and my sisters and I.

And weirdly enough, I wasn't mad at God.

But I had a kind of a hard time going into the church setting just because I felt like it kind of brought some triggers.

Just being in that environment.

I think the lowest part is when he ended up becoming homeless and he and my mom separated. I honestly didn't want to see him like that. So I stayed away from him, and I realized that started affecting me in a ton of ways. I just focused on work. I really didn't value relationships as much. I battled alcohol addictions during that period. So I wasn't really in a good place.

I went to the church prior to Renew, and I kind of shared my story there and I recommitted my life to Christ. I even got baptized there. Due to its distance away and my time, I wasn't able to really go there. I kind of felt alone, really alone. And so I worked really hard at my job and I tried to make my job my identity until I was fired. And I was now devastated.

But right before I got fired, maybe six months prior to that, I had visited Renew for the first time and heard Dihan's preaching during that period. I had a friend who was going at the time, and this was when they were really small. I think they said 50 people. It was pretty small. But they were new. I think they were only like maybe a year old at that point. And I came in and the sermon was really good. I know it was good because I was thinking about it throughout the rest of the week.

I actually remember [Pastor Dihan] was talking about the podcast Christian.

And, you know, when we cut ourselves off in isolation, we put walls up thinking we're protecting ourselves. But really, what we're doing is we're sealing ourselves in isolation. That just really stuck with me because I realized I was doing that.

At Renew, I met someone by the name of Antoine. He invited me to two men's groups to serve. And I was always blowing them off. So after I got fired, I was like "okay, God, I know I need to go after you. But when I got there, I was on the email chain and I realized he was already gone.

And then my friend who was there wasn't really going there, so I really didn't know anybody. So I just happened and showed up and I was like, "OK, God, whatever you tell me to do to serve, I'll do it now."

Two guys actually approached me at the time who were serving on the setup team and said they needed help. Those are the guys that literally pull the trailers out. Unload. Pack it up.

They didn't say all that. They just said Saturday and Sunday morning. But I kind of felt like I wanted to get right with God, right? I was like, "alright…"

But it was so funny. During that period, I made relationships with those guys. Being around them and knowing that they're praying, I learned some of their habits and it kind of re-triggered my old habits. But in a much more enhanced way where it was so much more now relational with Jesus, I joined the whole group in their last week.

Pastor Raul was our group leader. And it was just me and him in the valley. He was kind of a counselor at that point. I kept serving my wife, kind of just healing. And at this time, it was healing with Jesus. I was walking with Jesus. I was able to break away from the alcohol addiction. I was able to kind of be strengthened and confident in connecting with others. I started valuing my relationships more than the things I did because I didn't have that job I was trying to make my identity.

And then God blessed me with a new job and what I love. And I remember during that period, John 15, I was reading that to myself every day. And it was changing my life. I was always thinking about abiding in Him, and He in me. And I realize that when you ask whatever it is that you wish for, it's not the things that you wish for. It's for the things for the Kingdom to bear fruit.

I became addicted to bearing fruit. I remember when they needed people to do home groups. I didn't want to be a home leader. I thought that was massively responsible. But then me and John McCaffrey became good friends and led a whole group.

And then you're seeing God change other people's lives as he's still changing yours. And then you're just becoming so strengthened to the point where I went to go visit my father and see him when he was a homeless man. I was able to face him and his words weren't able to trigger me.

Jesus has changed me. He healed me. He strengthened me.

Instead of being angry with [my dad], I actually now have compassion for him. I feel bad for him. I'm praying for him. I'm still trying to figure out how to help him. And he taught me how to love even the hardest people to love.

Q: Could you take me back to that moment when you met up with your dad? What was different about that than years prior where you had had conflict with him? What was that moment like for you?

David: I remember the week leading up to that Saturday morning, he was on my heart. He was always on my heart when I prayed for him, but it was definitely coming up a lot. In our group we all have everybody share a praise report and a prayer request. And when he was coming back around to me, God was telling me, "ask the men to pray for you because you're going to go see your dad." I'm like "I don't know if I want to do that."

But after they prayed for me now, like now, I was like "OK, I'm doing this." My dad is in Paris, California. So that's like outside of Riverside County. I always knew where he was, I just didn't know specifically where he was, but I kind of knew the area that he was in. And so that Saturday morning, when I was driving out, I had friends and brothers really praying for me, encouraging me.

It was interesting, like where my people were not discouraging me, but trying to redirect me from doing this. My mom called and she was like, "David, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go see him. I don't know how he is. He might be aggressive. He was pretty hostile near the end and is being really aggressive. Don't expect it to be a heartwarming thing."

But I remembered the scripture, "if you love me, you'll do my commands." So I just kept telling myself, "I just have to go see him."

And so I said, "you know, mom, I'm not expecting anything. In fact, I actually have no expectations and I'm just going to go see him. And if he wants it to escalate, I'll leave because I have a car.

God put this on my heart. My friends love me and they just want me to be safe and protect me. And they think that that's what's best for me. I realized this what it was like to really stand firm.

When I got there, I started asking all the liquor stores and gas stations. I looked everywhere and I actually went to the last place where I thought he would possibly be. I like to say it was the Holy Spirit. I kind of felt a nudge to go right when there's nothing.

There is just maybe like a couple of pillars over and sitting behind the third pillar, he was sitting behind the third pillar.

When I saw him, my body actually reacted in shock. I stiffed up and like my neck tensed. I was in shock. I was shaking. I didn't want to see him like that because it was my biggest fear. My dad growing up was my hero. I felt like I was even seeing purple splotches. It kind of felt like I got punched in the face.

I kept saying verses to myself. I was saying Psalms 23. I kept quoting like Ephesians 6:10 through 20. I can't read quoting job 15, one 370. I just kept telling myself "My peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you." God's peace just kind of rested on me in that period, and when he recognized me, he asked me like three times if it was me.

And then we actually had a good talk for when you're like 40 minutes. It wasn't reconcile, reconcile. It was just catching up. But when he got triggered, he started yelling and cursing. He started getting really upset and it was interesting.

It was like in Ephesians when it talks about your faith as a shield blocking from the fiery darts. I could see that those were just attacks from the enemy to get me to get into a place where I was going to be hostile back.

The had to remain in the vine so that I could see that this is actually just a helpless man who's in pain.

I said "well, you know, dad, I can't bring mom and anyone else out here. We're moving past that, but I really do want to get you help."

And you know, he still was very disinterested. He kind of stormed off. But I had so much confidence and it established my faith so much more. My faith has never been bigger.

I visited him again a couple of years back during COVID because I was worried about him and everything. He still had kind of the same attitude, but he was still a little less hostile as I was on my own.

I said, "I thought about you, I just want to let you know I love you."

And that time you let me hug him – I think I gave him some cash. I had to pay to hug my dad. (laughs).

But the thing is, in my walk, God has become my father. So I don't need to demand that from [my dad] anymore. I don't need that from him. Yahweh is my dad now, you know? And man, Jesus is my savior and I. I don't need to ask that from [my dad]. He's my dad on Earth, and I'm still praying and believing in a miracle because I've seen a miracle transformation in myself, you know?